Argyle Nights - Part 2
Well now, were did I leave off last time, oh yes, the second outing of the Argyle Knights team. Guess what though; Instead of just telling you all what happened, I'm going to play a little game with you all! This will probably remind you of one of those choose your own adventure type books, but in this case you must try to guess what really happened out of 3 possible scenarios.
Each of these scenarios takes place at or on the way to the new Moxies on Macleod trail in the early evening on a Sunday night and all 4 members of the team are involved at some point, besides that anything goes so good luck, hope you all enjoy!
Scenario 1
After learning some crucial lessons from our first outing, the team decided it would be a good idea to have some sort of back-story this time so we decided to take Steve’s car and discuss our "history" on the way to Moxies. We all looked very stylish in our outfits if I do say so myself, unfortunately no one had any really good ideas so we defaulted to being an amateur band (Kind of like a barbershop quartet) each with our own role in the band (I was drums) but not much besides that. We thought it would be really funny to mess with the staff by entering two at a time 3 minutes apart. Jeff and myself entered first looking not at all gay and our bewildered looking hostess hesitantly took us to the bar. It came as no surprise that she took us to the farthest and most isolated table in the very back and said almost nothing while seating us.
Then, right on time, Jeff and Steve entered promptly to find the hostess now half freaked out and half curious at the same time. She asked Steve if they had two friends in the bar and Steve proclaimed in fake British accent (which was totally unplanned and made me a Jeff look quite foolish with our Canadian accents!) "Why yes my dear, It would be my pleasure if you could escort us to their table." The waitress complied and as she left she couldn't help but crack a smile in amusement. When we heard what Steve had done we weren't too happy but we saved the day by saying he recently immigrated from Britain when our waitress asked what was up. So far things were not going well, but the tide would soon turn when, I kid you not, a group of 4 girls entered and were seated in the table just behind us!
I thought to myself, finally our moment had come! But as it turns out, one of the girls was actually one of Shinny's ex-girlfriends! I can't remember which number she was, but it didn't mater because the jig was up. As I recall, Shinny said something along the lines of "Rachel! I thought you moved to Vancouver, what are you doing here?" She responds with "I'm just visiting for a couple of weeks (she smirks) why are all dressed like old golf course type guys? We all laughed and spent the next 5 min. trying to explain the real reason. All four girls thought it was cute in an odd sort of way and so we wound up having dessert and drinks with the girls. It was a really fun time actually.
At the end of the night Shinny and Rachel exchanged their new contact info and we all parted ways. On the way home we all decided that this Argyle Night was clearly meant to be and that it increased our collective sex appeal, even if things rarely go as planned. So we resolved to do this again at some fancy place downtown next time Shinny was in town and yes we wrote "Thank you for the Gorgeous Time" on the receipt this time.
Scenario 2
After learning some crucial lessons from our first outing, the team decided it would be a good idea to have some sort of back-story this time so we decided to take three separate cars and discuss our "history" when we got to the Moxies parking lot. We all looked very stylish in our outfits if I do say so myself, after some debate, we decided to we would be going to Frank Sessions Casino again to play some Texas Holdom, which was a good decision it turns out because one of the waitress asked about it later and we actually knew what we were talking about. We thought it would be really funny to mess with the staff by entering two at a time 3 minutes apart. Jeff and myself entered first looking not at all gay and our bewildered looking hostess took us to the bar. She sat us in the middle of the bar not surprising in plane view from were all the bar staff was working.
Then, right on time, Jeff and Steve entered promptly to find the hostess now half freaked out and half curious at the same time. She asked Steve if they had two friends in the bar and Steve proclaimed with some hesitation “We have no back-story” The waitress laughed a little (which I’m sure made Steve die a little inside) then she brought them to our table and Shinny explained how Steve dropped the ball. When we heard what Steve had done we weren't too happy but we saved the day by explaining the casino story to our waitress when she asked about us on behalf of the bar staff. The waitress took awhile to warm up to us, but once we turned on our charm, she was much more friendly. Just as a side note, we found it interesting that some of the other waitresses were finding excuses to see our table (We were making an impact I think). So far things weren’t going according to plan, but it may have something to do with the time and the day we decided to come, we needed a bigger crowd! We did get some looks and laughs though, in fact you could say we were providing a valuable service to the obvious first date couple that now had something fun to break the tension and hopefully solidify a long and healthy relationship.
By the end of the night we had several appetizers, drinks, and desserts including the delicious Moxies brownie and had a decent time. Before we all left for our homes at the late of hour of about 10:00 p.m. (well past our bedtimes) we resolved to do this again in a fancier, busier place downtown sometime to really make some waves, and yes, we wrote "Thank you for the Gorgeous Time" on the receipt this time.
Scenario 3
After learning some crucial lessons from our first outing, the team decided it would be a good idea to have some sort of back-story this time so we decided to take Marathon’s car and discuss our "history" on the way to Moxies. We all looked very stylish in our outfits if I do say so myself, unfortunately our night quickly went the wrong way when we somehow took a few wrong turns and found ourselves lost in the dirty slums of Forest Lawn. To make matters worse, Marathon forgot to fill up on gas and we stalled in the middle of the neighborhood! We were stuck in a Canadian ghetto, no food, no Team America soundtrack (Marathon had somehow lost it and all he had was Celine Dion’s greatest hits!, no weapons, and we clearly did not belong here in Argyle sweaters. A dire situation indeed, but we were determined to make the best of it so Shinny proposed that we have a surprise night mission right here in Forest Lawn! Marathon objected immediately saying “I don’t know guys, one us might get hurt” the rest of us struck back by calling him a “Girly Candy Ass Mo-fo” Clearly the group was decided but then Marathon started crying as usual and the only way to calm him down was play some Celine Dion! Marathon eventually conceded and we were off to explore Forest Lawn and try to remain undetected in Argyle outfits!
Things went well at first, no one spotted us and there weren’t any dogs or cops around, yet. But all of sudden, as we were approaching an intersection, we encountered them. A Forest Lawn street gang I heard about called the Plad Avengers! Oddly enough they were all wearing ugly plad outfits with sweater vests and cow boy hats, there were four of them, sneaking around at night, and they spotted us from the other side of the intersection just as we spotted them. They seemed to think that this street was their territory and so words ensued and the two teams formed into straight lines facing each other. Thinking back on it now, I don’t know if they really were threatening us but their inbreed, red-neck, hick accents were so thick that we couldn’t really understand them, oh well.
Anyway I think one of them said something like “You boys better scidaddle right now Ya-here” and so I replied with “Enough talk you bastards, we own this street now whether you like it or not and the four of us are clearly a match for the four of you!” Immediately after Sunflower says “Yeah!” Of course as I’m saying this, I had just noticed that several other gangs of four were coming out of the various houses around us! We were surrounded now by 5 other groups each with there own names and looks including the Queens land Pitchers, Deer Valley Mongrels, Douglas Dale Pansies, and our the long time rivals the Parkland Basturds!
After many groups threatened each other I stepped in the middle to set the ground rules. 1) No hitting the face, 2) No hits in the Fuck Zone (You know what I mean), and 3) No tampering, scratching, tearing, or staining of group outfits if it can be avoided, that was it. The violence that ensued afterwards was beyond describing; I can only say “Next to a battle lost, the saddest thing is a battle won.” That’s right, I came up with that all by myself! Anyway, after many fists of fury and glorious teamwork on our part we emerged victorious and with no casualties! Unfortunately all this commotion had stirred the neighborhood out of its slumber and we could hear vicious attack dogs and police sirens coming.
Next thing you know, all four of us are booking it back to the car when we remembered that we had no fuel. We had to act fast or we’d be busted with those gangs for sure! So I came up with a brilliant strategy, lets steal some ones car and just get the AMA to tow Marathons car back to his house later if the cops don’t find it first. Luckily, we are masters of espionage, and part of espionage is breaking and entering, so we successfully stole some old mans car without being seen and got out of there before the cops could catch on!
As it turns out, God was on our side for once that night and not only did we get all of our rivals in prison, but we got off scott-free with no cops ever finding Marathons car. And since we’re such nice guys, we returned the old man’s car that morning, in fact he was so impressed with our team and our outfits that he said “Don’t worry about it guys, you young whipper snappers just keep on doing what you love, because that’s the secret to life!” Than I said, “Fuckin-A old man” and we all went home for much needed rest.
Based on what happened we decided it was best to low for awhile before venturing out again, but we all agreed that the Argyle Knights are awesome and that we must do this again some time!
All right, that was a lot of writing! I hope you all enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please post your votes in the comments section; once I’ve heard from everyone who wasn’t there that night, I will post the real answer in my next entry.
Each of these scenarios takes place at or on the way to the new Moxies on Macleod trail in the early evening on a Sunday night and all 4 members of the team are involved at some point, besides that anything goes so good luck, hope you all enjoy!
Scenario 1
After learning some crucial lessons from our first outing, the team decided it would be a good idea to have some sort of back-story this time so we decided to take Steve’s car and discuss our "history" on the way to Moxies. We all looked very stylish in our outfits if I do say so myself, unfortunately no one had any really good ideas so we defaulted to being an amateur band (Kind of like a barbershop quartet) each with our own role in the band (I was drums) but not much besides that. We thought it would be really funny to mess with the staff by entering two at a time 3 minutes apart. Jeff and myself entered first looking not at all gay and our bewildered looking hostess hesitantly took us to the bar. It came as no surprise that she took us to the farthest and most isolated table in the very back and said almost nothing while seating us.
Then, right on time, Jeff and Steve entered promptly to find the hostess now half freaked out and half curious at the same time. She asked Steve if they had two friends in the bar and Steve proclaimed in fake British accent (which was totally unplanned and made me a Jeff look quite foolish with our Canadian accents!) "Why yes my dear, It would be my pleasure if you could escort us to their table." The waitress complied and as she left she couldn't help but crack a smile in amusement. When we heard what Steve had done we weren't too happy but we saved the day by saying he recently immigrated from Britain when our waitress asked what was up. So far things were not going well, but the tide would soon turn when, I kid you not, a group of 4 girls entered and were seated in the table just behind us!
I thought to myself, finally our moment had come! But as it turns out, one of the girls was actually one of Shinny's ex-girlfriends! I can't remember which number she was, but it didn't mater because the jig was up. As I recall, Shinny said something along the lines of "Rachel! I thought you moved to Vancouver, what are you doing here?" She responds with "I'm just visiting for a couple of weeks (she smirks) why are all dressed like old golf course type guys? We all laughed and spent the next 5 min. trying to explain the real reason. All four girls thought it was cute in an odd sort of way and so we wound up having dessert and drinks with the girls. It was a really fun time actually.
At the end of the night Shinny and Rachel exchanged their new contact info and we all parted ways. On the way home we all decided that this Argyle Night was clearly meant to be and that it increased our collective sex appeal, even if things rarely go as planned. So we resolved to do this again at some fancy place downtown next time Shinny was in town and yes we wrote "Thank you for the Gorgeous Time" on the receipt this time.
Scenario 2
After learning some crucial lessons from our first outing, the team decided it would be a good idea to have some sort of back-story this time so we decided to take three separate cars and discuss our "history" when we got to the Moxies parking lot. We all looked very stylish in our outfits if I do say so myself, after some debate, we decided to we would be going to Frank Sessions Casino again to play some Texas Holdom, which was a good decision it turns out because one of the waitress asked about it later and we actually knew what we were talking about. We thought it would be really funny to mess with the staff by entering two at a time 3 minutes apart. Jeff and myself entered first looking not at all gay and our bewildered looking hostess took us to the bar. She sat us in the middle of the bar not surprising in plane view from were all the bar staff was working.
Then, right on time, Jeff and Steve entered promptly to find the hostess now half freaked out and half curious at the same time. She asked Steve if they had two friends in the bar and Steve proclaimed with some hesitation “We have no back-story” The waitress laughed a little (which I’m sure made Steve die a little inside) then she brought them to our table and Shinny explained how Steve dropped the ball. When we heard what Steve had done we weren't too happy but we saved the day by explaining the casino story to our waitress when she asked about us on behalf of the bar staff. The waitress took awhile to warm up to us, but once we turned on our charm, she was much more friendly. Just as a side note, we found it interesting that some of the other waitresses were finding excuses to see our table (We were making an impact I think). So far things weren’t going according to plan, but it may have something to do with the time and the day we decided to come, we needed a bigger crowd! We did get some looks and laughs though, in fact you could say we were providing a valuable service to the obvious first date couple that now had something fun to break the tension and hopefully solidify a long and healthy relationship.
By the end of the night we had several appetizers, drinks, and desserts including the delicious Moxies brownie and had a decent time. Before we all left for our homes at the late of hour of about 10:00 p.m. (well past our bedtimes) we resolved to do this again in a fancier, busier place downtown sometime to really make some waves, and yes, we wrote "Thank you for the Gorgeous Time" on the receipt this time.
Scenario 3
After learning some crucial lessons from our first outing, the team decided it would be a good idea to have some sort of back-story this time so we decided to take Marathon’s car and discuss our "history" on the way to Moxies. We all looked very stylish in our outfits if I do say so myself, unfortunately our night quickly went the wrong way when we somehow took a few wrong turns and found ourselves lost in the dirty slums of Forest Lawn. To make matters worse, Marathon forgot to fill up on gas and we stalled in the middle of the neighborhood! We were stuck in a Canadian ghetto, no food, no Team America soundtrack (Marathon had somehow lost it and all he had was Celine Dion’s greatest hits!, no weapons, and we clearly did not belong here in Argyle sweaters. A dire situation indeed, but we were determined to make the best of it so Shinny proposed that we have a surprise night mission right here in Forest Lawn! Marathon objected immediately saying “I don’t know guys, one us might get hurt” the rest of us struck back by calling him a “Girly Candy Ass Mo-fo” Clearly the group was decided but then Marathon started crying as usual and the only way to calm him down was play some Celine Dion! Marathon eventually conceded and we were off to explore Forest Lawn and try to remain undetected in Argyle outfits!
Things went well at first, no one spotted us and there weren’t any dogs or cops around, yet. But all of sudden, as we were approaching an intersection, we encountered them. A Forest Lawn street gang I heard about called the Plad Avengers! Oddly enough they were all wearing ugly plad outfits with sweater vests and cow boy hats, there were four of them, sneaking around at night, and they spotted us from the other side of the intersection just as we spotted them. They seemed to think that this street was their territory and so words ensued and the two teams formed into straight lines facing each other. Thinking back on it now, I don’t know if they really were threatening us but their inbreed, red-neck, hick accents were so thick that we couldn’t really understand them, oh well.
Anyway I think one of them said something like “You boys better scidaddle right now Ya-here” and so I replied with “Enough talk you bastards, we own this street now whether you like it or not and the four of us are clearly a match for the four of you!” Immediately after Sunflower says “Yeah!” Of course as I’m saying this, I had just noticed that several other gangs of four were coming out of the various houses around us! We were surrounded now by 5 other groups each with there own names and looks including the Queens land Pitchers, Deer Valley Mongrels, Douglas Dale Pansies, and our the long time rivals the Parkland Basturds!
After many groups threatened each other I stepped in the middle to set the ground rules. 1) No hitting the face, 2) No hits in the Fuck Zone (You know what I mean), and 3) No tampering, scratching, tearing, or staining of group outfits if it can be avoided, that was it. The violence that ensued afterwards was beyond describing; I can only say “Next to a battle lost, the saddest thing is a battle won.” That’s right, I came up with that all by myself! Anyway, after many fists of fury and glorious teamwork on our part we emerged victorious and with no casualties! Unfortunately all this commotion had stirred the neighborhood out of its slumber and we could hear vicious attack dogs and police sirens coming.
Next thing you know, all four of us are booking it back to the car when we remembered that we had no fuel. We had to act fast or we’d be busted with those gangs for sure! So I came up with a brilliant strategy, lets steal some ones car and just get the AMA to tow Marathons car back to his house later if the cops don’t find it first. Luckily, we are masters of espionage, and part of espionage is breaking and entering, so we successfully stole some old mans car without being seen and got out of there before the cops could catch on!
As it turns out, God was on our side for once that night and not only did we get all of our rivals in prison, but we got off scott-free with no cops ever finding Marathons car. And since we’re such nice guys, we returned the old man’s car that morning, in fact he was so impressed with our team and our outfits that he said “Don’t worry about it guys, you young whipper snappers just keep on doing what you love, because that’s the secret to life!” Than I said, “Fuckin-A old man” and we all went home for much needed rest.
Based on what happened we decided it was best to low for awhile before venturing out again, but we all agreed that the Argyle Knights are awesome and that we must do this again some time!
All right, that was a lot of writing! I hope you all enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please post your votes in the comments section; once I’ve heard from everyone who wasn’t there that night, I will post the real answer in my next entry.
posted by Tricycle at 10:30 a.m.
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